Margaret Merrill Toscano

As I have been contemplating religion, Mormonism, feminism and my place (or lack thereof) in all three of those areas, I have discovered a Mormon history I never knew about. This history includes Margaret Merrill Toscano. She is a wonderfully intelligent and well-spoken woman whose strength of testimony and character is admirable. I'll let you find out about her yourself if you feel so inclined but I wanted to share some of her words that resonated with me.

First is a talk of hers given at the Sunstone Symposium in August 2006:
"Are Boys More Important Than Girls? The conflict of gender difference and equality in Mormonism"
This quote from about halfway through the entire talk is one of the problems I see in Mormonism that I can never fully articulate to my member friends and sisters:

Men define doctrine, policy, and practice. They define normative behaviors. They create the moral context for all departments of Mormon life. They literally hold the keys of the kingdom on earth and in heaven.

The second thing I wanted to share is an interview she gave to PBS for the documentary "The Mormons."
I think the interview is a good summary of her history with the LDS Church and her subsequent excommunication.

I wonder how I never knew there were (and are!) people -- women more specifically -- that had the same concerns I do now. It is a comfort to find them. But the question I struggle with is how to act and react, and where to turn in the future. This is a troubling mess of its own and one too big for me to get into right now, so I'll save it for another day.

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A wish

Tonight, my sister and I were driving home from our weekly (in theory at least) game night at her boyfriends house. At an intersection, we saw a woman get out of a big white truck. She was halfway out of the truck with the door open for a while like she was gathering her things. Then she started walking away in the direction that we had come from. We thought it was a bit odd so we kept an eye on her when our light turned green. The truck made a U turn and followed her to a gas station. The driver was aggressively following her, he even pushed her to the side with his truck.

We turned around. When we got back to where she was, the guy in the truck had sped away and she was walking on the sidewalk in the dark. It was probably around 1:30 am. We gave her a ride to where she needed to go. She cried a little but was strong. I hope that we helped her in some small way. Actually, I am certain that we did.

I thought about the incident on the whole way home. Women, girls, we need to look after each other. There are so many creeps out there. Let's take care of each other. Not only with bigger things but in small things, too. Let's love each other and be kind to each other. Women get abused all the time, we as their sisters cannot support or continue abuse in any shape or form, under any title or definition.

If we all just made a more conscious effort to love and care for the women in our lives; our mothers, sisters, lovers, friends, neighbors, aunts, nieces, any woman you meet; if we shared with them our strength when they feel weak or oppressed, think of what a difference that would make! I know that many of us feel this is important already, but reaffirming this conviction will make it stronger and will make women stronger.

I hope that young woman to whom we gave a ride can get a big hug tonight from her mother/best friend/sister/anyone who truly loves her. When she does, I hope she feels my love and Tashi's love in it, too.

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