Monday, January 18, 2010

Yoga Journal #2 : Wellness + some recent life stuff

Do you ever have those days/weeks/months/semesters where everything seems to fit together from different areas of your life? For example, one class you're in might talk about a topic that you later discuss in a completely unrelated class, or you talk about something with your family and then there is a big news story about a similar thing. I love those types of moments. They feel serendipitous. They remind me that 'it's a small world' and that nothing happens in isolation.

I had one of these moments yesterday. On Saturday, I wrote my second yoga journal entry in which we were asked to write about classes, our readings, and wellness -- what it means, and practices that lead to wellness (here is a shortened version that is still long):

I thought classes this week were challenging. It was physically challenging to maintain alignment and the rhythm of breath while moving into and holding new
poses. There is also the mental challenge of staying present. The exercise of both mind and body is intense and compliments each other.

I have been reading Donna Farhi’s third chapter in Bringing Yoga to Life. I love it; she has a perspective that just feels right. I especially love how she talks about our
innate natures as being good. Society tends to view the innate nature of humans as corrupt and base. I find Farhi’s perspective refreshing and hopeful. She explains that, "all of the volatile and destructive emotions – anger, jealousy, envy, greed, and hatred – are born of [an] involuntary ignorance in which we perceive an ‘other’ and therefore a need to propagate and protect ‘our’ self" (29).

In the few weeks I have been practising, I already feel like I am returning to a deeper self that is good and selfless. I am seeking to incorporate that version of my self into my life more and more.

I think wellness is attending to our physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and social needs in a way that keeps us balanced and healthy as individuals. I think yoga is certainly a practice that will support wellness. Any practice that helps a person grow, reconnect, or reflect with themselves and others in any of the areas I identified can support wellness.

So here's where one of those serendipitous life moments comes in. On Sunday I went to church with Kelsey. I don't think I've mentioned this before but we are in a "Preparing for Eternal Marriage" sunday school class that I have problems with sometimes (another time I might explain a few of them) but yesterday's lesson was about preparing for life/becomming independent/developing as a person. It felt very much like the wellness reflection I had when writing my yoga journal. It was wonderful to mentally connect part of my new spirituality that I am finding through yoga with the church that nurtured my spirituality in previous years.

In other news, I am enjoying my new semester so far. I have mostly fun, artistic classes and I am also trying out new things. I have a drawing class, yoga, acting, art history, and photography. I am also doing an internship with Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company and writing a thesis (specific topic still tbd -- I need to get on that quick).

I tried out for the play that Westminster College is putting on in March -- Red Noses. I got call backs which was a good sign but still don't know if I got a part. I'll let you know when I do - should be either today or tomorrow. It's a new thing for me so I was very nervous and excited. Even if I'm just a little extra person singing in the chorus or something, I'll be happy.

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Monday, January 11, 2010

San Culpa

is a yogic term for intention. Or so I just learned this morning. I am taking a yoga class this semester and I'm really excited. We are required to keep a journal of our readings and feelings/progress/questions/insights/whatever. They are just sent to our professor but I would like to share mine here as well for my record and benefit.

For our first journal, we were asked to clarify our intention for the class and reflect on the breathing technique we learned on the first day. And so, Journal #1, Intentions:


My purpose in taking this class is to reconnect with my body. I feel like I have gotten out of touch with it. In reading Donna Farhi's first two chapters (of Bringing Yoga to Life), she talks a lot about peoples motivations for starting yoga. I thought what she said was really interesting, and recognized some of what she talked about in my life.

My initial motivation was to regain flexibility and feel more attuned with my body but after reading her chapters, I realized that I am also searching for a new type of spiritual renewal in my life, which could have lead me to yoga. Even though that was not my initial intention, after reading those chapters, I would like to incorporate that into my san culpa.

So my intention for this class is to reconnect with my physical body and improve its function and flexibility. I also hope to reconnect with a deeper part of myself and begin to feel a spiritual renewal that Donna talks about in her book.

I practiced ujjayi (the breathing technique) a few nights before going to bed. I found it helped me to clear my head when I was thinking about too many things.

I noticed I was holding my breath this weekend when I went to see a movie. It was in a moment of tension in the film and I held my breath until the moment passed. I realized that I must have been pretty wrapped up in the film.


Have you ever taken a yoga class? How did it change your perception of yourself and the world? What was your intention when you started?

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Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Resolutions

Last year, I started out my New Years post by saying "this is the new year and I don't feel any different" (a line borrowed from my absolute favorite band DCFC). This year, I cannot say that.

I feel different. Not so much that it's the New Year, more because a bunch of different aspects of my life are coalescing around the New Year. Which makes the New Year a good target to center my feelings around.

I'll be starting the last semester of my undergraduate degree on Wednesday. I am learning more about myself now than I have ever consciously considered before. I feel like this New Year is the start of a new me, a new phase in my life, a period of new spiritual discovery and intellectual growth. This New Year is the beginning of the rest of my life. :) And I'm ready to embrace it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the divine. I'm ready to face what I have been afraid to really confront before: myself, in all my light and dark and all shades of colors and grays.

And therefore, my resolutions this year are a bit different than the last but before we get to them, let's review last year's and evaluate :) because evaluation is key to success. My resolutions for 2009 were:
  1. Go to a class at my school gym at least once a week.
  2. Dress up each day that I go to my internship or work
  3. Keep my room clean
  4. Write Blake regularly
  5. Budget
I didn't go to a gym class EVERY week but I definitely improved. Especially last semester, I started going to a rock climbing class on Wednesdays and had a Tennis class on Mondays. I also started taking pole dancing lessons. It felt good to exercise regularly. I didn't do much in December but I plan on getting a membership to a dance place and regularly attending classes there.

I did dress up for my internship and started doing better for work as well.

My room clean? ha ha ha, big fail on that one. But I cleaned it up for New Years and intend to keep it that way.

I did start writing Blake more regularly and then he came home in February. Unfortunately, Blake and I broke up in October. I miss him a lot and hope he is doing well.

Budget, yeah, didn't really do that one either lol but it is hard when all of your money goes to tuition. My study abroad to France didn't help things but I wouldn't trade that for anything. I'm ending up having to take out another loan for school but it will lead to a better quality of life for me and help me not be so frantic at the start of every month when I don't have enough money to make my payments. I figure it will help me more in the long run anyways, because then I will actually be able to learn how to budget instead of having every cent go to tuition.


My resolutions this year focus more on character development and relationships. They're a bit more vague but I hope that they will continue to make me into a better person and influence my long-term future for the better while improving my quality of life and the lives of my friends and family. In no particular order:
  1. Continue to take care of my physical body. Exercise regularly, eat well, and present myself in a way that reflects how I feel about my body (which I love) and the situation.
  2. Be honest. With myself. With others. I have a tendency to avoid conflict. It's just part of my personality. But sometimes that tendency gets in the way of being completely honest with myself and others. I will learn to be honest while being tactful and respectful. In this way, I will avoid conflict later on by addressing problems as they come up in the most ethical manner possible.
  3. Improve my relationships with family. My little sisters are growing up and it is so weird to see. But it is wonderful, too. I feel like we are starting to relate to each other as adults and friends in addition to sisters. I want to treat them kindly and with respect to show my love for them. I will extend this effort to my father, mother, and little brother.
  4. Improve my relationships with friends. I will keep plans with friends and be on time. I will show sincere interest in their lives and make an effort to spend quality time with them to get to know them better. In this way, I will communicate that they are important to me and be the kind of friend that I want to have.
To be sure that I will be successful in these goals, I will make a list of ways to do implement the changes and review my efforts monthly. I will need to organize myself and be proactive with the small day to day stuff in order to focus on more important things, so that is kind of a resolution as well.

Happy New Year everyone! I wish you success in your resolutions (if you make them) and in your endeavors of 2010. :)

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Questions

The Faithful Dissident is a blog I've found in the Bloggernacle (see wikipedia for a definition of that term). I am a fan of said blog and particularly was interested in FD's post from yesterday, Orthoprax Mormonism.

My personal experience resonated with the history related and it touched on some topics that have occupied my thoughts of late. And although not directly on topic, it resurfaced some questions I have been struggling with. For instance: Is it wrong to be part of a community when you don't necessarily hold the same beliefs of that community? How do you stay true to yourself within that community while not offending others? And will said community ever truly embrace you as a member while you hold estranging beliefs?

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Margaret Merrill Toscano

As I have been contemplating religion, Mormonism, feminism and my place (or lack thereof) in all three of those areas, I have discovered a Mormon history I never knew about. This history includes Margaret Merrill Toscano. She is a wonderfully intelligent and well-spoken woman whose strength of testimony and character is admirable. I'll let you find out about her yourself if you feel so inclined but I wanted to share some of her words that resonated with me.

First is a talk of hers given at the Sunstone Symposium in August 2006:
"Are Boys More Important Than Girls? The conflict of gender difference and equality in Mormonism"
This quote from about halfway through the entire talk is one of the problems I see in Mormonism that I can never fully articulate to my member friends and sisters:

Men define doctrine, policy, and practice. They define normative behaviors. They create the moral context for all departments of Mormon life. They literally hold the keys of the kingdom on earth and in heaven.

The second thing I wanted to share is an interview she gave to PBS for the documentary "The Mormons."
I think the interview is a good summary of her history with the LDS Church and her subsequent excommunication.

I wonder how I never knew there were (and are!) people -- women more specifically -- that had the same concerns I do now. It is a comfort to find them. But the question I struggle with is how to act and react, and where to turn in the future. This is a troubling mess of its own and one too big for me to get into right now, so I'll save it for another day.

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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Brandon's Holiday Dinner

While I'm posting pictures, I might as well tell you about this weekend's game night. Brandon got a turkey from his work, so he wanted to have a potluck like dinner party. The only problem was he just randomly decided that it was going to be last night.

He texted his roommate Aaron to put the turkey in the oven to reheat and then told Tashi and I to get some guests and bring some food. It was random and crazy but we pulled it together (mostly because of Aaron's willingness to go to the grocery store 3 times in the course of an hour). I made a butternut squash puree from The Pioneer Woman Cooks. Tashi whipped up some instant potatoes and we had corn, green beans, and stuffing. It was all pulled together in about an hour, ha ha, just in time for when Brandon got home.

For dessert, we went to Baskin Robins then went back and played some games. We played "The Game of Things" and laughed a lot then played "Bang!" It was an enjoyable evening.





Brandon making a toast

Eating pictures are a must, this is Tashi


Robbie

Kaylynn, she was starving and wouldn't look up lol


As close of an eating picture for Aaron as we could get

The dinner, see my squash puree? :)

Brandon's cat, PepperJack transformed into a gangster with a hoodie and blue ponytail

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Pictures from the Lady Gaga Bday Party

So, here are a few pictures from Tashi and I's Lady Gaga themed birthday party :)

No one else got as into is as we did, so we are the only ones really dressed up lol but we had fun. Tashi has some good shots of our full outfits. I'll see if I can get them from her later.
















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